BOISE, Idaho (CBS2) — Miscarriage and stillbirth change a woman’s body much like a viable pregnancy, resulting in a surviving baby, but often the weeks after loss are not afforded the same type of care and support.
“For so many women, they’re expected to put a pad on like it’s a menstrual period, and move on with their life,” said Elora Perez of Nurtured Mothers Doula Care. “But this is a postpartum period. “
In the weeks following a loss, Perez, who specializes in caring for postpartum bereaved mothers, said the body benefits from weeks of rest, intentional nourishment through soft nutritional foods, and warmth through broths, soups, and teas because the digestive system stops working during birth or contractions.
She recommended fatty and brothy foods without processed sugars or hard snacks like crackers or salad, German chamomile tea for sleep, ashwagandha for mood regulation, golden milk to combat inflammation, jujubes after blood loss, and NORA tea (nettles, oat straw, red raspberry leaf, alfalfa) for womb recovery.
Perez said to avoid foods that promote lactation, like oats, if the goal is to stop milk production, but there are other options.
“For so many, it’s just too painful to deal with the process of pumping and not having your own baby,” she said. “But you can work with a family who needs an ongoing milk supply and make it a beautiful thing, dedicating it to the baby you lost.”
In the weeks following a loss, or even in the months and years after, bodywork can make a big difference in reconnecting to one’s new body and reality.
After 20 years in perinatal care, Chiropractor Jennifer Anacker, of Anacker Clinic of Chiropractic, said chiropractic care helps regulate the nervous system. This regulation can help with emotional processing, physical discomfort, recovery, and future fertility.
“The adjustment helps dampen the amygdala and turn on the frontal cortex to help you experience the emotion rather than feeling overwhelmed,” she said. “Your body needs to heal from the loss and hormonal and reproductive changes. While that happens, it’s important the body can communicate effectively. The relaxin in the body causes pelvis shifting and pain in the lower back, and those nerves lead to the reproductive organs, an area that needs to heal.”
Dr. Anacker and Perez both said pregnant people should build a support network to rely on, otherwise, they could feel isolated in their emotional and physical pain or even question reality.
One way to ensure this support would be to tell potential supporters of the pregnancy after confirmation, instead of waiting until the second trimester.
Perez also suggested, expecting a healthy birth experience, but creating a plan for a loss because 10-20% of pregnancies end with stillbirth or miscarriage, and she hears about regrets down the line from clients who weren’t prepared.
A reminder, there is no right way, amount of, or time frame for grief after loss.
Go here for a story of stillbirth graciously shared by a bereaved Idaho mom.
Go here for an expert panel discussion on supporting someone through pregnancy and infant loss.
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